It’s about time I help Myself.

So I have decided to do a sort of “cleanse” of my body and mind… Actually not really.  I just want to start eating better, maybe get back to not being obese and just being happier overall.  I think the proper term for what I want to do is: Start Anew.  That sounds sound.

So I have some basic ideas for my new life.  I feel like I have a pretty good plate load that I would like to finish before the New Year. So I believe I have 96 days, starting tomorrow, to accomplish my plethora of goals.  However, some of them are going to be a little harder than others to accomplish, so I may have to build to accomplish thems.  In regards to this, I have come up with a goal-accomplishing format, it will look like this:

Goal:

Explanation:

Accomplish by:

Extra Info: (this category title changes)

Now what are all of these life-altering changes going to be?! Let me dish. Side note, all completion dates are that of the New Year, just in case you missed out.

1.       Goal:  No caffeine.

Explanation: It would be an understatement to say I am addicted to caffeine; basically, I breathe it. So I need to give it up.  I have attempted before, go terrible headaches and only last about a month.

Accomplish by: I will only allow myself to drink 3 sodas this coming week. Then 2 the following week and the 1 soda per week for the last 2 weeks.

Time Frame: 9/26-10/2 = 3

                         10/3-10/9 = 2

                         10/10-10/16 = 1

                         10/17-10/23 = 1

 

2.      Goal:  Become more positive.

Explanation: I am a realist, so most people say I’m pessimistic and usually I tell them to go do something that isn’t very nice and ends with the word off.  So I, myself, have decided to be more positive inward (as well as outward). When it comes to others I am already positive, just with myself, I don’t see things too happily. 

Accomplish by: Therefore, I am happiest when helping others or making them happy, so I am going to do a good deed or say a positive comment (and mean it) once a day every day. This does not mean I will not be sarcastic, possible just less occasionally.

How will I track: I will update (in my new section) of how I am accomplishing my goals; I will write what I did for the day that was helpful or nice or whatever.  It may also be something that I do which is positive for myself.

3.       Goal: Keep organized.

Explanation: I am not the most textbook definition of organized; however, I do have my own way of organizing. 

Accomplish by: Keeping my room tidy, which includes: putting clothes away instead of throwing on floor, keeping desk in check and don’t throw school papers all over my room.

Extra Info: I just have to do it.

4.       Goal: Exercise 3 times a week.

Explanation: I feel 3 is a good round number given most of my free time is used doing homework or being at work.  This could include doing a workout video, or biking, running, jogging, swimming; but whatever I do, I must actually do it to exercise, not leisure. I am technically obese given my weight and heigt; and obviously other than hurting my social life, that is unhealthy.

Accomplish by: Keeping track just like I will with my soda intake and compliment tracking; here for the world to see.

Possible time: Mondays & Wednesdays before school; Monday after school.  Tuesday and Thursday nights when I don’t work, possible Friday’s when I do not work.

5.       Goal: Re-write my notes.

Explanation: I have found I learn better when I re-write my notes. 

Accomplish by: Taking my notes, in class, on loose leaf paper and re-writing them in a specified notebook for my classes: math and stats.

Hardship: I hate making time to do this.  It is tedious and beyond annoying, but I must accomplish it.

6.       Goal: Pass my MAT 142 class with a B or better.

Explanation: I am already struggling in this class and I do not want to have to waste more money and time on another useless math class. 

Accomplish by: Re-writing notes, take out time to specifically study and actually pay attention to the homework I am doing and go over my mistakes.

Difficulty level: HIGH. I have gradually gotten better at math since I have graduated high school, however I have had to drop a math course and re-take it; I do not want to have to do that with this math class.  However, I am realizing this class is already straining my math capabilities (and logic, not an entirely math-based class) so much so that I feel it will be terrible hard to even pass with a B.  I would like to pass with a C but I’m hoping if I aim high I’ll end high.  A C would be a hard-hit to my GPA.  :(

There may be more goals to come but as of right now these are the major ones I would like to accomplish.  I will create a new category that will be a place I can keep track of my progress through the next 96 days.  More will come in how I want to start my new and improved existence, rather than my auto-pilot existence.

Want to know what I think?

This is a list of things I’d like to tell people.  However, I do not feel like telling them these things.  Each number is for a different individual.

1. I wish we were still friends, but I am done with being the only one to try.
2. I really think this is for the best.
3. I knew you were lying straight through your teeth when you decided to tell me you’d be different.
4. One day you’ll realize I’ve always loved you.
5. You are truly the only person I can talk to ANYTHING about.
6. Even though you are a jerk sometimes, you are my best friend.
7. I wish I could visit you more.
8. Sadly, I still think about you more than I should.  But knowing how long it took you to get over me, drew me back in.
9. I wish we would have been closer before you left for school; I still wish we were close.
10. I’m oddly fascinated with you… And I wish I knew your name.
11. If I wasn’t a human being, I would take your dog to the pound so it didn’t keep me up at all hours.

Short Story Project

It will be epic. And I really am going to be proud of it; regardless of everyone’s thoughts. And it is somewhat a mystery. =]

Something must be done!

Now that school has ended I am slowly losing my fairly abundant vocabulary of signs.  I knew I would but I figured since I try and translate as much as I can when I talk that I’d retain more than I am. Sadly, that is not happening.  The worst part of it all is there is nowhere in Tucson where I can go and just ‘practice’ my signing ability. I don’t have any deaf friends and the last deaf individual I tried to be friends with questioned my intentions of becoming their friend.  Long story short: I talked to them online. Wanted to get together and hang out. Then he started communicating to me thru about 4 different forms of technology that I was only trying to befriend him to practice signing… Which I didn’t even know then! Nor did I know he was deaf! However, I understand he may have been in a situation like that and being I’ve never been deaf, I don’t know how some people may be. BUT anywayssss… I have no ability to talk with anyone who signs and it’s starting to annoy me.  I am growingly bored with signing to myself or my dogs.  Hmph. I will defeat this terrible sign-less summer and go to class next semester just as fresh as I left last.

Everything happens for a Reason

Every meeting, every action; whether at the time it is known why what happened, happened. There is a reason for it.

Whether it be meeting some stranger at a camp and becoming close friends.

To be stuck in a place you’ve been your whole life; only to realize your happier then every one else you know who’s leaving.

To be able to walk through the darkness to turn on the light, even though you know somethings standing right under it, waiting.

Spending every night alone and looking and then right when you give up someone finally decides to come looking for you.

Or even being able to deal with Goodbyes better then everyone else.