You’ll open your eyes

1. I wish you didn’t live an hour away.
2. Gah. I love you guys.
3. I don’t think I can go.
4. You make me laugh… In the good kinda way.
5. If you lie to everyone else, I’d be daft to believe you when you say you don’t lie to me.
6. I’m not letting it hurt when I stop loving you.
7. You’re still my best friend.
8. You told me tonight you were always jealous of me; I’ve always been jealous of you.
9. I value your insight.
10. If you want to improve the situation, then stop saying it will never get better.
11. Don’t expect another chance.
12. I didn’t realize how much I missed you till we were together for the day.
13. It hit me on New Year’s that I hadn’t seen you in a year; I cried.
14. I know you’re out there; even when I tell everyone else you don’t exist.

What exactly am I really missing out on?

I really like the sound of a traditional non-laptop keyboard.  I suppose it’s the same reason why people type on typewriters; because the sound makes you feel attached to what you are typing.  I didn’t realize how much I missed the sound of the keys being pressed down until I started using my mom’s older computer rather than my laptop.  But this isn’t necessarily why I am writing tonight.. Well almost this early morning.

I feel like I have really missed out on that “college experience” because I never got the chance to live in dorms or run around campus with a bunch of new random people to make friends with.  Now please do not misunderstand that I am not happy with the decision I made to go to community college (save money) and stay at home (which I really had to choice over); but as I see a new group of my friends go off and go to their new dorms for their exciting freshman, year I can’t help but think that I am missing out. 

I feel as if I am missing out on the chances to form new relationships and build new friendships by living at home.  I think the major reasoning for this is because my freshmen year at a community college I really only made two friends.  Everybody tends to be too wrapped up in their lives to want to make friends; whereas, if you’re living in a dorm you really have no other option to make friends.  Granted, I am not unhappy with my friends that I have now, I just wish it would be easier to meet some new people to liven up my daily routine.  With this, I have even talked to a few of my closest friends and they agree that besides them and I, we are really the only friend the other has; which is a sad occurence given we are young and should be building some lasting bonds with some terrific memories.  I am in no way ungrateful for who I have in my life, I am so blessed in that sense; however, who doesn’t want a new friend!? ….Well to me, everyone could benefit from a new friendship.  At community college it is just so lame because you try to be nice and try to make friends with someone and all they want to do is text and ignore you. LAME.  That, however, is in fact their prerogative I suppose, being that it is their life that they are living. Ha.  But whatever. 

So this semester I have decided to try to make even more connections than I did last year in order to bring some new relationships into my extremely small circle of friends.  I plan on talking to at least a few people in every class rather than wait for people to start talking to me.  I probably should (during the first week or so) find people who are more outgoing and sit next to them to see if it works, but that does not mean I will not try to talk to the “shy” people.  I know for a fact (my best friend is like this) that some of the most amazing people are just shy around people they first meet and it would be terrible for me to: A. judge them because they don’t speak up a tremendous amount and B. to miss out on what a magnificent person they probably are.  So the point of this post is basically I really want some new friends and some new exciting memories to file away into the scrapbook of my mind.