Would you like Frey's with that?
“What are you talking about? America is not going to be destroyed.”
“Never? Rome was destroyed, Greece was destroyed, Persia was destroyed, Spain was destroyed.
All great countries are destroyed. Why not yours? How much longer do you think your own country will last? Forever?”
This quote is from Rise Against’s song Survivor’s Guilt. Originally the talking part is from the movie version of Catch-22.
I’m kind of obsessed with it right now.
Have you ever hugged someone goodbye and as you walk away, you realize that this is the last time you will ever see that person again? Well this occurrence is happening more often than I would like it to in the last few years. I’m not sure if I am more connected with the people who I have to say these goodbyes to, or whether I have never actually had to say goodbyes like these…
I am not talking about ‘Goodbye forever because we didn’t work out’ kinda goodbyes; I am talking about the goodbyes where you have a good friend moving away, or a certain class or convention (or whatever) is ending and everyone is going back to their homes and their lives.
I hadn’t realized how many people, whom I love dearly, I’ve had to give one last, big hug because I won’t be seeing them for years to come, or ever again even. Maybe I am just realizing this because I haven’t stayed in contact as much as I had hoped; or the other person hasn’t reciprocated the contact I had wished they would.
Take for example, today. I finally was able to see a friend who I haven’t seen in over a year. And this girl is no ordinary “friend”; she is one of my best friends. I can talk to this girl, quite literally, about everything. There are no off-limit topics between us. We don’t have to tip-toe around subjects like religion or politics, even though we don’t always see eye-to-eye. She accepts me regardless of what I believe and won’t tell me I’m wrong in what I think, or that I’ve been educated in the incorrect manner; nor would I ever think about telling her the like. We can sit and talk for hours about current events, boy drama, school, conspiracy theories, soccer, and clouds; deep or shallow, we cover it.
I read this quote somewhere recently that said something along the lines that, ‘A true friend, no matter the time or space that separated them, can start talking as if they were never parted at all.’ And let me tell you, this is what my friend and I share to the nth degree. Of course we spewed hopeful wishes that we could be together longer; but tampering with school charter buses isn’t exactly the smartest (or legalist) task to take on in less than 20 minutes. Regardless of that fun banter about getting to ‘just hang out’ longer, it was as if we saw each other on a daily basis like we use to. There was no awkward silence because we aren’t for sure if the other is still dating so-and-so, and we didn’t have slightly unpleasant feelings that I’ve sometimes felt when catching up with merely an old acquaintance; I mine as well have been living with her this whole time!
All I dream about is the day I can get out of this hell-hole I call Tucson; but after realizing how shitty it is to lose relationships with some of the people that I have, it makes my decision harder to want to leave. I have no doubt my relationship with my family will stay relatively close, because I am already super-glued to them anyway. However, I’m starting to feel the fear of losing certain friends if I decide to leave… I know leaving is best for me; I’m just not sure if everyone else I care about will see it this way. And I’ve already painfully learned, time and time again, that I can only hold on so hard before the other person just lets go.
Pictured above (save the last picture): Are girls I have either lost some form of communication with. These are girls who I wouldn’t feel that awkwardness around, if given the chance to see them again.
I want you. You want her. You’re with her. The End.
Not in any specific order…
Now here is why I love being female…. Again no order…
So basically that is what I (and a friend) decided on. I didn’t touch on Breast Cancer and other topics like that because (knock on wood) have not experienced them, nor plan to.
Society brainwashes us from the time that we are born; girls in pink boys in blue.
Girls do not play rugged sports, boys do; girls clean, have kids, while men work.
This is ridiculous.
Look at how “mommies and daddies” teach their sons when they are little that girls go first; however, girls are never told that, so they grow up thinking that that is how everything should be.
This all creates a surplus amount of problems.
Like then the girls wait for the perfect gentlemen, and we all know he doesn’t genuinely exist, because no one is “perfect.”
That makes girls who grow up wanting to open the door for someone else to be nice, question themselves and how they are seen; just adding on to the rest of the pressure they will feel through their adolescent years.
And in all honesty the same goes for a man, if he wants to stay single, let him.
Take for example the books children are read when little or the shows they watch.
Every damn Disney fairytale story deals with the girl being so fragile and weak and the male must swoop in and save her; all but maybe Mulan, and the occasional random one.
So then, from the get go, girls are being pushed into one way of thinking; then it is harder for the girl to push through and be independent without every single fucking person in the world questioning why she won’t date, or why she doesn’t want a man. “Doesn’t she want to be happy when she gets older?” “Doesn’t she want children, a family?” Blah blah blah. Bullshit bullshit bullshit.
Not only does this do that to the females but think of the boys; the ones who don’t want to be all macho and save the day, maybe they want to write or sing or act.
Maybe they want to be saved.
But nay, men can’t do any of those things.
Heaven forbid them want to act on stage, wear makeup or sing to the wizard of oz; then at that same point at the age they hit when society is most critical, they are labeled gay or much worse.
And it doesn’t end there. Oh no! It couldn’t end there!
So then the media knows it can play on the whims of these young adolescent minds (15-30).
With these movies and books and various stories about love and heroism that is put up
even when the person is finally okay with who they are something has to happen to knock them on their societal ass.
Like they go see a movie and think ‘Why the hell can’t I fall in love?’
Or why the hell is it because he has aids and is male and sings he’s automatically gay.
Why is it that because a black male is with a white girl it’s because of her daddy’s money, or vice versa for that matter.
All because by the time you’re old enough to realize what you’ve been brainwashed into, it’s far too late to undo the hardwiring that has already been done.
It’s just like you can’t teach an old dog a new trick; you can try and try and try, and yes the dog may learn the trick and go through the motions and seem like he’s got it down, but in that moment of vulnerability he will always revert to what he was taught first.
His instincts.
Take example of that to people who go feral.
They revert to basically an animal; they know nothing of society or the bounds it has on any issue in the mind.
They only know what they have taught them self, or what the land has taught them, or even if they have been following God or another religious figure; and still then it’s a touchy question.
People always revert to their natural born instinct; if you’re always taught blue is red and red is blue, then you hit kindergarten; are you going to believe your parents or the teacher, this person you just met?
You’ll go with your first instinct, what was first taught to you.
Hence fairytales fuck up kid’s lives; and everyone else’s.
The end.
I have a plan to be “thin” again… Or at least to become healthier. I worked out the other night, and while I was definitely out of shape, I felt really good about myself. Therfore, I want to shed some unnecessary pounds.
Voltaire is responsible for my title quote.
Anyone desperate enough for suicide…should be desperate enough to go to creative extremes to solve problems: elope at midnight, stow away on the boat to New Zealand and start over, do what they always wanted to do but were afraid to try. - Richard Bach
War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it.
- George Orwell
I would like to be able to admire a man’s opinions as I would his dog – without being expected to take it home with me.
- Frank A. Clark
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.
- Stephen F. Roberts
If you have to think about whether you love someone or not then the answer is no. When you love someone you just know.
- Janice Markowitz
When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?
- Sydney J. Harris
My father was often angry when I was most like him.
- Lillian Hellman
You know I found that title quote at the end of looking for all my quotes I wanted to include, and it kinda caught my brain in a twist. You know a witty saying may not prove anything, but it sure makes you think.
That is all. =D
Two Decades. 240 months. 7,304 days. 10,518,975 minutes. 631,138,519 seconds.
20 years old.
